Wedding preparations advice for parents / Persedian anak berkahwin: Satu pandangan untuk ibu bapa
This topic is something that I never dreamt of writing or ever ponder about just a few years ago. I never thought that one day I would be this old to plan and organize for a kenduri kahwin or wedding reception for my eldest son. But this is life, it moves like a wheel and we are a a certain point of a cycle. One day you will get old but not necessarily looking old. I got married more than 25 years ago in a simple wedding ceremony in Sungai Petani and it costs me less than RM 10,000 that I managed to get a loan from Central Cooperative Bank or CCB,a famous monery lender then. and it never crossed my mind that there would be a day in which I have to be ready for this big and important occasion and in which I did and I still remember the date was 29 August 2015. The place was at the grand hall Anti Dadah Kebangsaan in Bangi or AADK. That was the day when my son got married to his course-mate . They met in Kuantan but both are from Bangi. The wedding reception was a beautiful one and held at a reasonably sized hall that has been decorated with beautiful paraphernalia.A lot of of guests were invited and they converged at the beautiful dewan to witness the beautiful wedding reception. Here, I would like to share some of the experiences of 'planning' the wedding reception as an inexperienced father or a parent and I truly want to share my own experience planning one.
1. When preparing for the wedding reception I had the fear that not many invited guests would come to the wedding. This probably has got do do partly with me who is lacking in social literacy. The problem is that I don't normally go to wedding receptions unless I was forced to because the bride or the groom is related to me. It's not that I'm anti-social but Its 's just that I'm too lazy to attend wedding receptions. For one, I don't have nice and expensive batik shirts. I really cant afford to get a nice one.Yo should know how much a good batik shirt costs nowadays. A good one will set you up at least 350-500 ringgit. That is just one piece and you cannot be possibly be wearing the same batik shirt to all the wedding receptions because of your photos in the Facebook . People would notice the same batik shirt that you wear in all the occasions. It happens to me for wearing the same Baju Melayu for Hari Raya Aidil Fitri and at all the Rayas. All my nieces and nephews noticed that. They have collections of Hari Raya Idul-fitri-photos for all the years. Coming back to the issue, I can tell you that the invited guests would just come in droves because this is the first wedding reception that you planned. I happened to me . I never expected to see so many guests coming to my son's wedding reception. My advice to parents is that to cater for few hundred more of guests for the wedding reception if this is your first child. The guests will just come and you would have to be prepared for them. The best thing is that there would be also guests that you don't invite but coming to the wedding reception.
2. When booking for the hall for the wedding reception please make sure that you ask the owner or the manager of the dewan to give you the list of every item that you need to pay. It happened to me that the manager of the hall I used charged me for the use of the so called extra things that I purportedly used at the AADK hall. He wanted to charged me for the use of the VIP room which is actually free . He kept quiet at the earlier stage of the negotiation but after the wedding asked to be paid in cash for the so called extra items that I supposedly used. He asked me to pay the extra in cash for using extra chairs and tables when this was never an issue when we were negotiating . The same thing applies to the white screen for the LCD projector. So my advice to parents is that when booking the hall just ask the person responsible to list down all the equipment , facilities that you can use and whether they will be be charged. If you have to pay my advice to you is don't pay cash. Just deposit the money straight into the right account and dont deposit into his personal account. The person in charge of the hall might just take the money because all the things are actually part of the package and thus free.
3. One of the most important aspects of a wedding reception is the food. My advice to the would be father of the bride or the groom to choose a caterer that is reputable and has long been in the business. If possible try to get a reasonably good one. I have been to a number of wedding receptions and the food food served is just terrible. Sometimes the rice and curry would have the 'burnt' overcooked smell . The caterer just does not maintain the quality. What he is interested in is making a lot of money and there's no passion whatsoever in dong the business. The caterer that I engaged for the wedding was excellent but I had to pay slightly more but the food was just excellent, Most of my guests commended me for the good food at the wedding reception. If you guys need to know the the caterer that I engaged you may get in touch with me via email or thru my mobile . If possible try to sign a contract with the caterer that would itemize all the dishes and the services that the caterer would have to render,
4. The guest list is something that can be of an important part of the wedding reception too. I believe that a wedding reception is something in which you would enjoy with the family members, relatives and friends. Because of this I would suggest that If you are inviting guests please make sure that the whole family is invited. That will make your son's or daughter's wedding reception a happy one. If you just invite a couple or suami isteri then your wedding reception will be very formal and not a truly joyous occasion. At my son's wedding reception I stressed the point that my son's wedding reception is open to the whole family and of course they all came in big numbers. The guests were very happy to attend the wedding reception. But if money is your main issue then I would suggests that you have have smaller number of guests and just invite those that who are closest to you.
5. Another piece of advice that I would like to share with you is that the overall plan for the rewedding should be controlled by you or your wife. Never let another soul who is most likely your relative taking charge of the show. Tell you relative or whoever they are that they can do whatever they want but the final decision is for you to make. You will make the final call. The noisy individuals would want to do so many things that are inappropriate and sometime expensive things that you have to finally pay for it. There is a possibility that they make take advantage of your inaction or silence and do the many things that you are unaware of .They must be told in advanced rather than after the weeding is done. At the end , you might end up with some sour faces staring at you.
Finally , I hope you have a beautiful wedding reception.
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| A wedding at AADK Bangi |
1. When preparing for the wedding reception I had the fear that not many invited guests would come to the wedding. This probably has got do do partly with me who is lacking in social literacy. The problem is that I don't normally go to wedding receptions unless I was forced to because the bride or the groom is related to me. It's not that I'm anti-social but Its 's just that I'm too lazy to attend wedding receptions. For one, I don't have nice and expensive batik shirts. I really cant afford to get a nice one.Yo should know how much a good batik shirt costs nowadays. A good one will set you up at least 350-500 ringgit. That is just one piece and you cannot be possibly be wearing the same batik shirt to all the wedding receptions because of your photos in the Facebook . People would notice the same batik shirt that you wear in all the occasions. It happens to me for wearing the same Baju Melayu for Hari Raya Aidil Fitri and at all the Rayas. All my nieces and nephews noticed that. They have collections of Hari Raya Idul-fitri-photos for all the years. Coming back to the issue, I can tell you that the invited guests would just come in droves because this is the first wedding reception that you planned. I happened to me . I never expected to see so many guests coming to my son's wedding reception. My advice to parents is that to cater for few hundred more of guests for the wedding reception if this is your first child. The guests will just come and you would have to be prepared for them. The best thing is that there would be also guests that you don't invite but coming to the wedding reception.
2. When booking for the hall for the wedding reception please make sure that you ask the owner or the manager of the dewan to give you the list of every item that you need to pay. It happened to me that the manager of the hall I used charged me for the use of the so called extra things that I purportedly used at the AADK hall. He wanted to charged me for the use of the VIP room which is actually free . He kept quiet at the earlier stage of the negotiation but after the wedding asked to be paid in cash for the so called extra items that I supposedly used. He asked me to pay the extra in cash for using extra chairs and tables when this was never an issue when we were negotiating . The same thing applies to the white screen for the LCD projector. So my advice to parents is that when booking the hall just ask the person responsible to list down all the equipment , facilities that you can use and whether they will be be charged. If you have to pay my advice to you is don't pay cash. Just deposit the money straight into the right account and dont deposit into his personal account. The person in charge of the hall might just take the money because all the things are actually part of the package and thus free.
3. One of the most important aspects of a wedding reception is the food. My advice to the would be father of the bride or the groom to choose a caterer that is reputable and has long been in the business. If possible try to get a reasonably good one. I have been to a number of wedding receptions and the food food served is just terrible. Sometimes the rice and curry would have the 'burnt' overcooked smell . The caterer just does not maintain the quality. What he is interested in is making a lot of money and there's no passion whatsoever in dong the business. The caterer that I engaged for the wedding was excellent but I had to pay slightly more but the food was just excellent, Most of my guests commended me for the good food at the wedding reception. If you guys need to know the the caterer that I engaged you may get in touch with me via email or thru my mobile . If possible try to sign a contract with the caterer that would itemize all the dishes and the services that the caterer would have to render,
4. The guest list is something that can be of an important part of the wedding reception too. I believe that a wedding reception is something in which you would enjoy with the family members, relatives and friends. Because of this I would suggest that If you are inviting guests please make sure that the whole family is invited. That will make your son's or daughter's wedding reception a happy one. If you just invite a couple or suami isteri then your wedding reception will be very formal and not a truly joyous occasion. At my son's wedding reception I stressed the point that my son's wedding reception is open to the whole family and of course they all came in big numbers. The guests were very happy to attend the wedding reception. But if money is your main issue then I would suggests that you have have smaller number of guests and just invite those that who are closest to you.
5. Another piece of advice that I would like to share with you is that the overall plan for the rewedding should be controlled by you or your wife. Never let another soul who is most likely your relative taking charge of the show. Tell you relative or whoever they are that they can do whatever they want but the final decision is for you to make. You will make the final call. The noisy individuals would want to do so many things that are inappropriate and sometime expensive things that you have to finally pay for it. There is a possibility that they make take advantage of your inaction or silence and do the many things that you are unaware of .They must be told in advanced rather than after the weeding is done. At the end , you might end up with some sour faces staring at you.
Finally , I hope you have a beautiful wedding reception.
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